Life

That Dreaded “A” word….Anxiety!

 Anxiety! Oh how you cripple me and make me feel worthless…..I absolutely dread this feeling! That awful feeling of panic, worry, and overwhelming fear. Scared and nervous, of what exactly?….I don’t really know…

I can’t grasp what’s wrong. Is there something wrong? Why am I so emotional? Why do I feel worthless and unloved? Am I tripping? I can’t think straight!

And the tears start to flow…Yup! there goes that river.

If only people could understand how my mind tortures me. Hell! I’d settle for me understanding because I swear after years of being acquainted, I still am not familiar as to why you make your presence known. Oh, Anxiety!

It’s almost as if I can’t turn my thoughts off or even slow them down. Mental overload, yet a debilitating, crippling mental overload!

Mentally, physically, and emotionally, I am overwhelmed and drained! My mind is exhausted. My body is tired and hurting, Damn you Anxiety!

I feel like crying most days and at the weirdest of moments without even having an explanation as to why….

I mean how does a person go through life on a daily basis trying to perform as a contributing adult when they just want to crawl into a corner and let the river flow?

How does a person feel like they have no control over any aspect of life yet walk around with a smile on their face?

I don’t really know. I never really know, I just do…

All these questions have my heart racing, honestly it feels as though my heart is going to pound out of my chest!

Anxiety, please don’t!

Breathe, is what I keep telling myself but it doesn’t help.

Two puffs on my asthma inhaler, and a long deep breath……

 My breathing is steady but my nerves are shot and my mind is still racing…….Anxiety, I guess you win this round….

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