The Way He Cares For Me

The Way He Cares For Me

Good Morning Mama!

“Good Morning Mama, are you hungry?” my son says to me. Oh how I love the way he cares for me! He is quiet and a bit mysterious and while it can be frustrating at times, I have to admit that it’s one of his best qualities! My son, the only boy, what a special place he holds in my heart! He is growing into a young man so fast and I’m just trying to keep up.

I remember being pregnant with him and not knowing what was going to happen or where we going to end up but I loved him, I needed him. He was someone who would hold on to me and love me forever. No matter what I did and who I was or wasn’t, he was going to love me regardless. I didn’t have a dime to my name or a father to hold on to for him but I carried him proudly because we were a team! He gave me hope. He made me realize what true unconditional love meant because before this I had never felt it and what an amazing feeling it was!

Now here he is 13 years old! Where has the time gone? I sit back and think about all the mistakes I’ve made as a parent and I beat myself down. But then my baby comes in the room and says “Good morning mama!, are you hungry?” and I’m not so hard on myself anymore. Those words while they may seem so simple to some, they mean the absolute world to me! It lets me know that I taught him to care and most importantly he cares about his mama.

The funny thing is we sit and have grown up conversations. He is a young man and I intend to treat him as such. Which in turns means that during these real conversations he gets to see his mom as a human being. He understands that I make mistakes and I also need to acknowledge them and make them right as I expect him to.

As he continues to grow into the awesome young man I know he will be, I take great pleasure in watching and being a part of his journey, are my thoughts as I enjoy the delicious french toast he cooked.

His love, patience, and care reflects in his food and I am a proud mama all over again.


Submissively Yours

Submissively Yours

Submissively yours I am,

Awaiting your command and yearning for your touch,

You call my name and I melt.

“Assume the position”, is all I hear and it’s time to perform.

Slowly and seductively I lower to my knees, legs together.

I bend over and arch my back just how you like.

The look of innocence on my face is intoxicating.

Yet the look of hunger on yours is intense.

“Open up,” You say sternly.

I immediately obliged, ready to be devoured.

Sounds of a meal so divine, I cant help but moan your name!

You spread my legs and grab my waist, ready to take me to my favorite place.

Every touch is like electricity through my body and I can’t help but gasp for air!

Long and deep strokes, you challenge my body.

Dripping wet and ready to explode, enjoying my favorite place like a good girl should.

Sharing our souls and submitting to each other’s pleasure allows for a release like no other.

Nestled tightly in your arms, completely satisfied, I whisper “Submissively yours I am.”

That Dreaded “A” word….Anxiety!

That Dreaded “A” word….Anxiety!

 Anxiety! Oh how you cripple me and make me feel worthless…..I absolutely dread this feeling! That awful feeling of panic, worry, and overwhelming fear. Scared and nervous, of what exactly?….I don’t really know…

I can’t grasp what’s wrong. Is there something wrong? Why am I so emotional? Why do I feel worthless and unloved? Am I tripping? I can’t think straight!

And the tears start to flow…Yup! there goes that river.

If only people could understand how my mind tortures me. Hell! I’d settle for me understanding because I swear after years of being acquainted, I still am not familiar as to why you make your presence known. Oh, Anxiety!

It’s almost as if I can’t turn my thoughts off or even slow them down. Mental overload, yet a debilitating, crippling mental overload!

Mentally, physically, and emotionally, I am overwhelmed and drained! My mind is exhausted. My body is tired and hurting, Damn you Anxiety!

I feel like crying most days and at the weirdest of moments without even having an explanation as to why….

I mean how does a person go through life on a daily basis trying to perform as a contributing adult when they just want to crawl into a corner and let the river flow?

How does a person feel like they have no control over any aspect of life yet walk around with a smile on their face?

I don’t really know. I never really know, I just do…

All these questions have my heart racing, honestly it feels as though my heart is going to pound out of my chest!

Anxiety, please don’t!

Breathe, is what I keep telling myself but it doesn’t help.

Two puffs on my asthma inhaler, and a long deep breath……

 My breathing is steady but my nerves are shot and my mind is still racing…….Anxiety, I guess you win this round….

Trust, what does it mean to you?

Trust, what does it mean to you?

Trust. A five letter word that isn’t easy to gain access to but is so easily taken for granted.

Why do we work so hard to gain trust yet we can disregard it without a thought as to how it will affect us or those we care about in the end.

It’s almost as if we expect that trust between us and another person to just be guaranteed and that’s not how it works.

People tend to forget that we have to work just as hard to keep someone’s trust as we did to gain it. It has to be a constant effort on a daily basis to hold on to it or it will fade away like lost memories.

Nonetheless, it’s understandable that perception differs from person to person, so I ask with an open mind, what does trust mean to you and how do you choose to nurture it?

Summer Vacation 2018

Summer Vacation 2018

Tennessee, With Love!

By The Dreaded Phoenix

Grandma to the rescue!

What a summer vacation to remember! Actually, as you can tell from the title that this was our first vacation ever and it could not have been any more special! Yup! After 14 years of being together and 11 years married we finally managed to make it to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee! I mean let’s be real, we’ve only planned this tripped and tortured ourselves with the idea only a few hundred times! LOL!

It’s not that we weren’t serious about going but with five beautiful mini versions of us running around and those two dreaded words “bills & budgeting” (ooh! I shutter just thinking about B & B LOL!). But, as adults we now what the priorities are but we also know things come up and for the most part we stay focused.

Well for us, our break came this summer when grandma ask to keep our squad for a month and a half over the summer break! Now I can’t even lie, this was a break we all could use! Especially after making a major move from one state to another and everyone facing the dreaded transitioning with home, schools and work. Yeah a break was almost mandatory. Although we all were going to miss each other, the mission was on for everybody! I honestly believe in unison, we all thought about how we would try to have a great summer break!

So while grandma and the kids were discussing amusement parks and swimming pools, my husband and I immediately thought about none other than the beautiful Pigeon Forge, Tennessee! It has always been a dream of ours to stay in a cabin so after much research over the next week our vacation was booked!

Relaxation, Mountains, & Memories

First off, what a beautiful scenery Tennessee offers and may I just say, OMG! The air is amazing!! I would have to say that the fresh air is one of the fondest memories I took with me. I mean, I was expecting my allergies to really kick in and bother the hell out of me and surprisingly, Nothing! I mean it was like nothing I had ever experienced before. I loved it!

The mountain views were absolutely priceless! I mean everywhere you turn they were just complimenting the scenery. This was the first time that we actually experienced driving up and down mountains and let me tell you! I fainted a few times! Lol! ok maybe not really but quite a few times I couldn’t bare to look out the window. Absolutely breathtaking! 

The cabin was Priceless! Needless to say that we were absolutely speechless! The detail and character of the cabin was done with pure love! The only issue that we had was not being able to stay longer! We had everything we needed and the seclusion was a great addition to all the other amenities as well!

Last but not least, the adventures and memories! While we wanted to make sure that most of the trip was spent relaxing in the cabin and just enjoying each other’s company, we did venture out and try a few things old & new!  I booked us tickets to see a magic show since either of us had done that before and it was pretty entertaining I must say.  We also tried the alpine coasters and go-karts which were really fun but my favorite of all was white water rafting!! We scared the hell out of ourselves but it was definitely worth the experience and can’t wait to go again!

This vacation was everything! My husband and I definitely sit back and enjoy the memories and we are already budgeting for our family vacation! I can’t wait to see where we end up next!

Memories to last a lifetime!